there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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