Where is the hickey?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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