so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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