Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
