I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
