I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My hand turned me down
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How external is "for external use only"?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
