you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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