just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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