haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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