ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
