Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I faked an abortion last night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
