i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
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end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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