I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
