some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
