Betty ford says i'm here all night
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize