Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
