She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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