why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My ass is underappreciated
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize