Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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