I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize