I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
