we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
