my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
