why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize