Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
