I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
