The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
