I'm lost and stupid without you.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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