White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
