what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
