I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
