We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His nipple licking is glorious
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
