Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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