i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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