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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  god i miss watching you do this...

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.

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• (209): View more from California

  Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.

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