Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face