Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?

(1-514): View more from Quebec

Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.

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(916): View more from California

Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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(253): View more from Washington

Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up

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(474): View more from

Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?

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