I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.