WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous