I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature