You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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