Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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