walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
