i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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