You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
