Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it penis luge time yet?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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