omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
