I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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