i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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