tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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