Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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