yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
