no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
