Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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