we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
the liver wants what the liver wants
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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