I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize