BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
