fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
where are my eyebrows?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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