Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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