At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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