I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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