i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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