so that wasnt chicken after all
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
