How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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