I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So vagazzling was a success
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
