She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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