Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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