Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
