He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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