i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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