This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize