A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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